Expired Memories, in Gold

Marble smooth like skin, legends from the northern wind
Sensual curves of Daphne's torso, youthful tenderness of Apollo
My love for Bernini, is why I was in Italy


Basilica cathedrals churches chapels, monuments to Papa
Strive for perfection, art prevails
Human hands make the face of God, perfection in their veins
Perfect is the power of God


Trajan's story of glory, memories and legends enshrined
Hear no evil, think no evil, horizontal carvings open your eyes
In exchange for blind emperors, demise of the empire

Expired disposable film. Jan 2007. Rome, Italy.

Faking Lion wk 2

Second trip was all public transport and my trusty number elevens. Going around alone turns on my explore mode, covering shopping complexes Novena Square, Raffles City, Marina Square & Suntec City, prior to múm @ Esplanade. Yes, that dome-shaped building which Armani wanted to jump off in Royston Tan's ‘15’. The 7-man experimental Icelandic group was down for Mosaic, I was real excited only to find out pre-show that they ran out of merchandise -_- It was apparent from the moment the band set foot on stage, that 80% of the full house have not heard of múm. Singapore Fail #4. I was abit pissed off that the girls beside me started talking, good thing I can block off noise easily. Starting out with stuff from Go Go Smear the Poison Ivy, the combination of unconventional instruments and high-pitch voices was beautiful. When they started playing the old stuff which I love, I just chilled + zoned out to blissful land. I left super-satisfied when they played Smell Memory as their encore, my song of 2007. Still, many in the crowd left scratching their heads, and for that, Singapore Fail #5.

Upon Aaron’s recommendation, I took a bus to Holland Village for more sounds. Being jakun, I asked the bus uncle if he had change, at which he looked at me with horror hahaha. Shirlyn Tan & the Unxpecteds @ walawala totally blew me away. Playing covers from the Beatles and other old school bands, my jaw was already on the table when they executed Led Zep’s Black Dog to perfection, complete with that off-beat. They opened their third set with a medley from Floyd’s The Wall tracks 3-5, ending with Another Brick in the Wall pt.2. I’ve never seen or heard anything like it. An immediate convert, I bought her solo album Newfound Jealousy, and still loving the self-titled track. Walking around after that at 1am, I realized what impressed me most in Singapore – safety. I just felt safe walking around, no need to put on that awareness that I develop after midnight everytime I drive. That, and the prospect of having beer + pizza, while enjoying bands and friends, seemed really inviting.

Sarapan besok was toast & coffee @ Ya Kun, they might as well change their name to Yuc Ky. Singapore Fail #6. Imbi market still the best ever. From the financial district, I walked SW to Chinatown, back N to Clarke Quay, then E to the heritage museum & merlion. To satisfy my craze for ramen, I actually considered walking another 3km W, but due to time constraints I had to settle for Ajisen ramen, which wasn’t too bad. From Raffles area, I trekked to Ngee Ann, and eventually caught a LRT south to the train station back to Johor. Heh that was a pretty long walk.

All in all, the perfectionist in me has to applaud their systematic success stories, the public transport network, world-class universities, clean roads, promotion of local artistes and culture… Still, the people are very much stressful city folk who speed and throw rubbish on Malaysian highways, hence, they will always remain the Faking Lion.






Unxpected rockin' powerhouse @ walawala; gay singha for country symbol? FAIL

Faking Lion, wk 1

I have something against Singapore. Friends know that given a chance, I would vehemently attack the kiasu culture, the prim & proper people, the systematic lifestyle, the shitty water, and especially the copycat food. And so I surprise myself while visiting the island nation twice in two weeks, early March. Actually, Incubus and múm are valid reasons for doing so. What was surprising was how my views have changed, albeit slightly, about the Faking Lion.

First trip, ride down in a Mazda 3, stopping midway for Tangkak beef noodles. Driving in Singapore requires an autopass, I laud its effort to cut down on traffic. This brings up my biggest gripe with Kuala Lumpur – the lack of an efficient public transport system. For that weekend, I had the luxury of traveling around in cars/taxis only. Aaron was a most accommodating host, but as usual, we’ll be arguing half the time with me criticising every aspect of Singaporean life. Incubus @ Fort Canning was only OK, especially since I was at their 2004 performance @ Bukit Kiara Equestrian Park, which was so good a bootleg was released. The crowd was small and mostly kids, many of them well made up like going to clubs. Singaporean Fail #1. We powered through to the front, only to witness: middle of the muddy mosh pit shoving and slipping, this guy was holding his camera up with one hand, recording videos, while trying to maintain his balance!! Brainless hero. Most people seem to be preoccupied with taking pics & vids, then enjoying the music. CC’s hilariously loud insult to all camera holders didn’t deter them anyhow. Malaysian fans are probably the same, but what the heck, Singaporean Fail #2. Still, it is Incubus and they rock the stage, along with the 3 stunning models standing at the side. Most guys were looking that way, while girls were screaming their heads off at Brandon. Pistola played long in my head after the gig, and CC was Stellar-happy.

Saturday was spent entirely traversing Oxford Road, to the point where Aaron’s feet hurt. CC got Ted Baker shirts & a tasteful Tod’s wallet, and I was a paragon of shopping restraint, settling for a couple of Mexx shirts. Too tired for any nightlife, I caught a glimpse of Dempsey Road, a chill-out area with cool-looking wine bars. The price of wine is a bitch though. Then, I saw BEN & JERRY’S. The rapture compelled me to rekindle my love affair with Dublin Mudslide, tapau-ing home two tubs of it, with plenty of dry-ice. Walked to Sunday mass @ St. Joseph’s Bukit Timah, with serene Chinese-style paintings of Christ’s life. Visited the national museum, with an ongoing Greek Masterpieces from the Louvre expo. Whilst enjoying an esquisite 3rd century BC sculpture of Athena, I overheard the museum guide, “These head sculptures here are called ‘busts’…” explaining to a bunch of people, some sniggering. I nearly burst out in laughter, but I do applaud their government’s efforts to promote arts & culture recently. How many Malaysian’s would snigger when you refer to a marble head of Aeschylus as a “bust”? By this time, my disregard of Singapore has diminished – the promotion of art, the ridiculously long queues at Kinokuniya, the possibility of winding down car windows without choking on smoke, Ben & Jerry’s & Mexx… this place ain’t that bad after all.

Then there’s food. Looking at the “Uniquely Singapore”” travel portal, any Malaysian would scoff at the “Singaporean food" – curry laksa, chicken rice, satay, bak kut teh, rojak, char kuey teow?! Shameless people. The only good part of their food is pork & alcohol. Pre-concert fest of fish head beehoon w/ XO, fried chicken & cheong-fun was very delicious indeed. CC brought us to lunch - out-of-this-world fantastic ramen w/ charsiew outside Gallery Hotel. I’m found guilty of never sampling real ramen before, and am now a convert. Dinner was Mos Burger, which serves the best fast food burgers in the world. How can teriyaki chicken wrapped in letucces tastes so good? Can’t compare with Ramli lah, which probably has 300 calories more of junk, sos & mayo. The joke was when Aaron brought me to the “best prata”, a place where a taxi trip costs S$20 return. Normal prata fail, mushroom cheese prata fail, teh tarik was undrinkable, fried chicken ok la. Singaporean Fail #3.

Git Gig Geek

I enjoy concerts tremendously. When I listen to a record, I tend to imagine how the song would sound live. And I've been incredibly lucky to have attended gigs and live performances by many a favourite. I actually had to save up for some of these.

Peppers & Incubus twice, sublime everytime. Radiohead might just be the best ever. Foo Fighters with 40,000 ppl. Giant yellow bouncing balls while Chris croons "your skin..." Chino Moreno walking past me outside of Manchester Academy. Tiny Collective Soul gig was super-solid. Recently múm with their multitude of instruments and lousy Singapore fans. Still don't know why was it fated that I fell sick and missed Sigur Rós. Was screaming like mad when Mayday played at Bukit Bintang. Genting Arena is a sucky location, but I did catch Joey, Vincy, and 3-man Beyond there. Pretty much seen all my heroes live except those that I could never see again, like Smashing Labu-Labu, Led Zep, and definitely wouldn't mind Floyd or Beatles too.

Amazingly enough, also found this ticket stub in my collection.
Things one would do for the opposite sex..

Jumaat Bagus

It's abit surreal recounting the Way of the Cross in the middle of the sea.

As Pontius Pilate dipped his hand into the bowl, the clear water turned black. I watched the Man-God dragging his feet on the ground, carrying that heavy wooden execution device. I wanted to make His load lighter, I wanted to carry a heavier burden. A subtle joy appeared in my heart. I saw a mother share her son's grief, the astounding understanding and trust she has in Him. Back in St. Peter's Basilica, I see Veronica holding the cloth with His face imprinted on it. The sky was dark, but it was not as dark as the cross. It was like a magnet, attracting all that is sinful, dark, and uncertain. And it was on His shoulder. The surroundings were noisy with meaningless cries and jeers, weeping women and shouting men, all jostling to see the fall of their celebrity.

The painting was wide and many figures were depicted vividly in the scene. However, the painting was in grey, except for Him and his mother. His disfigured and bruised body was on the ground. She was only a tiny bit in the picture. A veiled head was all I could see, but her eyes were painted with such compassion that it became the focus of the painting. I prayed for her, and she acknoledged thanks for my belief, by giving me a firm press on my shoulders. It was a blur after that. As if the scenes were numbing along with His heart, I hear the queasy hammering sound of nails in flesh. The Passion was the last movie I should think of, but I recalled the part where the soldiers couldn't lift the cross proper. A destitute and hopeless voice rang out "Eli Eli Lama Sabachtani". It was a human voice.

People were dispersing, and Calvary seemed like the loneliest place on Earth.

Raphael's Deposition (The Entombment), 1508,

184 x 176 cm, Oil on wood, Galleria Borghese.

First Year Stories

Yesterday was my one year annivesary in MNC A. What a year.

I've learned much in theory and in practice. I've made friends. And I've been living on/off Miri for a year.

I've learned that to be a consultant, one must believe and uphold the perfect process, although what goes on around you is far from perfect. I've learned that projects must have well-defined objectives & goals, or else your hard work amounts to nothing. I've learned that the most important part of managing change is accountability & sustainability. I've learned that staying together with colleagues in service apartments are more fun than housemates during uni days, because you don't have to argue about chores and cooking. I've also learned that working away from home has a subtle but deep impact onto my social life, because friends will always assume I'm not around.

I sat a Fokker to Labuan. I drove a Wira, Waja, Persona & Myvi. I presented regularly in front of 30 people. I jumped off an 8m platform. I traversed the South China Sea in various helicopters. I experienced life aboard gas-production platforms, complete with 6 meals a day. I jogged on a helideck. I laughed at cold jokes. I had the best sashimi in Brunei. I got upgraded to Enrich Silver. I sang & snooker-ed in dark pubs. I lost a part of myself.

4 months down the road is supposed to be the ending, a new beginning. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for now.

Slow Bicycle (a twenty seven recap)

2007, a transition year. Everytime I look back, I'm amazed at how much I've grown over the past years. Last year was no different, because everything turned out to be so different. January was supposed to be the beginning of the end. Post Boxing Day sales, firework-less new year @ Manchester Albert Square, missed a train ride and Velazquez expo because of strong winds, Roma Brilliant Roma, farewells hugs + kisses, and POOF! I'm sitting alone on the floor of Doha airport, headphones plugged into laptop, living (leaving) my Sigur Rós existence. Leaving study life again, to work + strive for a living, the next chapter. After CNY in Johor and a couple weeks' lazing, my final interview breezed by, and I received a call whilst in Gotong Jaya enjoying cheap food, that I was to go Miri on the day after. Plain bizarre, as I've set myself to be caught up in KL traffic and taking LRT and working late nights etc. So off I go to Miri the city, spent a week in Labuan, conduct classroom trainings, eat ais kacang with my new friends. Things got even more interesting after 3 days of safety training, putting out fires, getting stuck in a smoke-filled room, jumping off 8 metres into a swirling pool and escaping from an overturned, capsized helicopter.

3 months later, and there was still no regrets coming to this place. It is as good as staying in a foreign country. People speak in different languages, Chinese + Malay get along well, the townsfolk can't drive... Yes I was not living the KL party life, hangin' out with chicks and all, but still, I'm getting paid more to work less. Along the way, I also scaled Kinabalu, nearly peaking. Despite everybody's objections, I still don't think peaking was such a great deal, considering I was just 100m away from it. Just enjoying the sublimely beautiful sunrise, having the clouds gather below you, surrounded by people you love, to me that will always be more memorable than gungho-ing myself and reach the peak, to enjoy the view alone. Poor Feng.

By the time September came around, the frustration has started to build up. I missed a Jiuzhaigou family trip because of offshore commitments (which were changed in the end). My colleague had planned to utilise his offshore leave to visit Bali, Cambodia, Thailand + Singapore. I have planned to do nothing in those 2-week breaks. I have missed a good deal of friends' birthdays and starting to feel tired. Tired of letting people know I'm back. Tired to be the one to always contact people. My spiritual life was falling apart, with the lack of Sunday missals and involvement in youth activities. My bunch of best church friends attended a 12-day course spread across 4-mths. And I was at home all those times. Deep down, I knew life was good, I had great friends in Miri, work was more change management, less tedious work that most analysts are doing. And I earned more and spent less. Why do I have to compare myself with KL folks? They spend their weekdays working till 10pm anyways. ARGH! quarter life crisis struck.

Insya-allah, then came the amazingly refreshing CHOICE camp, had a calm + insightful time, recharged my batteries. Even managed to know some wonderful karaoke kakis. My 2nd platform assignment was hugely fulfilling, because of the great people onboard, and that I actually could suggest improvements for my dear team. My contributions were being recognised and I was seeing things from a bigger picture. Returned to KL mid-December and had a thoroughly enjoyable Christmas in Kulai orchid farm. By the time I was on the 30th floor of the lavish apartment, staring at KLCC, and fireworks bloom beautifully in front of Trader's, I realised, it was a good year after all. Different, transitional, plenty of learnings, discovering lost loves.

Like 2006 was my movie madness run, I enjoyed a reading renaissance in 2007. Traveling time is best spent with a book in hand. Read some thoroughly enjoyable and insightful literature. Bhagavad Gita, 逍遥游, classics like Swift & Dostoevsky, plenty of Murakami... also caught up with many artists' biographies from Dad's collection, and have new-found love for French artists (which I previously despised) Monet, Toulouse-Lautrec, Rousseau etc. Thanks to IU forums, I also managed to download a large amount of Asian movies, forcing myself to buy a 160 GB external HDD, and I still have 40+ outstanding movies!! Not much new music in 2007, except for múm, rediscovering classic Pink Floyd & Beatles, and karaoke faves 侧田 & 曹格。

What does 2008 hold? I really am not sure, project is ending in May and there is no telling where I could go, even though I know for sure Miri would have a place for me. The thing I'm sure I need/must do - go Incubus concert in S'pore (bought tickets liao), go Cambodia, and hopefully can make it for World Youth Day @ Sydney. Cheerios , 2007, you've been good to my pig year, time to get the rat running and spinning its wheels!!