Who needs to be an apprentice?

0530 Fall out from bunk bed
0550 One half-boiled egg
0600 Meeting with all staff
0700 Presentation & discussion with team leaders
0740 Update management about progress and issues
0815 Finish & send handover report
0820 Provide short demonstration on key process to personnel
0830 Safety briefing
0845 Pack bag
0855 Nasi lemak
0925 Board helicopter
1040 Arrive at helibase, immediate transfer to hotel
1100 Relax on sofa in air-cond room
1230 KFC burger
1240 Cab ride to office
1315 Answer e-mails
1400 Telecon with colleague 200km away
1500 Meet and brief client management about 'way forward'
1615 Unable to complete list by today, start asking others for help
1645 Depart office and drive to airport
1715 Checked-in and waiting, book in hand
1800 Airport announce 40-minute flight delay
2000 Transit and immigration clearance
2040 Seated beside a student from Dubai, start chatting about movies and Arabic food
2100 Curry chicken with rice
2220 Arrive at KLIA
2230 Board airport taxi, chat with driver about KL tourism. Did you know there's a scorpion farm in Gombak? Or the best place to take picture of Twin Towers is called Jalan STONOR?!
2330 Back home, embrace parents
0010 Hot shower
0045 Finish typing blog entry

Forsaken

I guess my 'blog' phase is over. I hardly even read blogs now. However it still is a potent outlet of expresssion, and I do hope to write here more.

Since the last update, I've had a wonderful 6-dy trip in Rome. Accompanied by Phing for less than 24 hrs of travel, my traversting alone resulted in a richly art-influenced pilgramage around churches and museums. Not to forget the feeling of throwing on a toga and yelling "Hail, Giulio Cesare!", whilst walking along Via Sacra in the splendid ruins of the Roman Forum. I went to the Vatican 3 times, and could now name all the prominent sculptures inside St. Peter's. My mouth still waters when I think of the expresso, eggplant paninis, artichokes, and the 20-Euro pasta I had on the last day. All these happiness greatly erased the horrible experience of putting up with the transport problems in England prior to my trip, which meant I missed Velazquez AND Spamalot.

Since the last update, I am now back home - Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur, Taman Tun, Kiara Park. Spent the whole of first week cleaning out my room, which was turned into a store room in my absence. Realised my appetite has severely diminished, meaning I don't order more than a dish in coffeeshops no more. Have to get a job soon, since ALL my friends are working now. Been to Neway Karaoke once, and couldn't rmb how to operate the controller. Been hooked on Justin, Eason and Mayday new songs. And I prob will remain single for quite another while, since I totally forgotten Valentine's is coming up. Sweat gila.

My 16-mth stay in Manchester has been a wonderful experience, something that I'll nvr forget in my lifetime. Of course, most ppl will think otherwise, since I condemn the UK so viciously all the time. Then again, it really IS not a nice place to live in, for too many reasons I won't even go into. However, the positivity in me decided to list out what I do miss (in no particular order):

- Friends: Rich Eng-Ed Malaysians (hoho!) that have to put up with my eccentricities and yet make me feel warm and *ahem* 'respected'; jolly ex-flatmates Julian the Columbian and smoky Pambos the Cypriot; pretty + nice Taiwanese chicks; the Mainland malat-lous in Opal Gardens, who were so shocked that I dunno what the term 'A-片' is, and me being so shocked they dunno how to play card games.

- Mahjong, bridge & poker sessions: Yes, I usually win.

- Basketball sessions: marking Aaron in itself is already a joy.

- Broadband: the insanely fast connection make for countless hrs of streaming movies, thus transforming me into a movie freak. Say NO to serials!!

- Traveling: French Alps, Amsterdam, Spain & Rome can't be too bad in a 16-mth span. Not to mention UK coach trip with family.

- Ben & Jerry's: Tried all the flavours. Best ice-cream in the world. Period.

- Times Killer Sudoku: THE most unhealthy obsession. You won't even want to do normal Sudoku ever.

The end of student life. Again. Woohoo, looking forward to working for the next 30 yrs!!

ROMA

Going off in 2 hrs to London for Velazquez exhibition and Spamalot. Then 5 days in Rome!!! Ala continuation to Phing's remarks:

Roma roma bulu roma
Mimpi bagai Maximus dalam Gladiator
Tengok Rafaello dalam Museo Vaticano
Minum expresso makan gelato
Jalan-jalan di Pantheon macam Caesar
Roma roma bulu roma

Retreat @ Avila Hse 181106

One-chan went for a leadership camp then immediately motivated to blog, I went for a retreat two weeks ago and still struggling to post. The retreat was at the chaplaincy, where 6 students turned up. Allocating time for God is not easy. Two seminars and lots of time for reflection, including mass and benediction. I personally enjoy retreats, because I genuinely believe it necessary in putting time aside to reflect on oneself. Thereby absorbing life lessons I gather from looking back at my past actions, and my present knowledge. They call it ‘divine intervention’, Phing calls it ‘epiphany’, I call it ‘enlightenment'. Life is a lot simpler than people would have you believe. Will just record some of the more striking points I gathered from Fr. Ian the other day.

A way to discern people with the strongest faith in God is by asking them the question, “have you ever doubted your faith?”. Those that answered “Never!” and "Of course!” are the strongest. As with most people, my faith goes through a sinusoidal cycle of peaks and valleys, but I do try and strengthen it as I grow older. It almost is a natural process that the more one experiences life, the more one experiences God, which in turn strengthens one’s faith. The fundamental question of “does God exist?” is not even a question to me because I have accepted it, partly because of convenience (a born-Catholic), partly because of conviction (miracles of life). For those who doubt the moral God, moral (good / bad) itself is a product of the human conscience, and moral is ephemeral in existence. To me, God is a subtle integration of my conscience, and his divinity transcends through my actions, because He made me.

Fr. Ian gave a most beautiful example of dealing with life’s uncertainty: when feeling down, confused, disturbed, or angry, go “sit beside yourself”. Splendid. Nothing of the schizophrenic sort here, just take a step back, and using your true self to evaluate your current self. Again, it is an example of God’s divinity transcending within you. It is saying: my true self, manifesting God, takes a good look at my current self, then laughs at the idiocy of feeling whatever negative thoughts I may be having. But if anyone does see me sitting beside myself, you better pray it is only an illusion.

St Vincent de Paul said, “when someone knocks while prayer, leave god for God”. Pope Benedict’s encyclical “God Is Love” also contains a beautiful section about Mother Mary (C. 41). These two great figures of faith understood that God’s divinity transcends in their actions, and that they’re undertaking God’s initiatives, as much as they are willing to put their time aside for prayer. I know I am not the best Catholic around, especially with the smart mouth and indifferent demeanor. It is irritating for the perfectionist living inside me, but I have to loosen up and understand God’s sincerity. I have to learn how to not doubt God’s sincerity.

We do all kinds of things each day because of fear – fear of rejection, fear of being ugly, fear of being lonely, fear of the unknown, fear of feeling stupid etc. That’s why we act up and try to impress. But we know our true self disapproves of all these. It is surprising, but letting go of the false facades and breaking down your own outer facade, and you will realize that you have more friends than ever before. That we people yearn to know each other’s true self, because they are identical in nature. Guess those were the parts that impacted me. Joke heard during tea time:

James: Do you want sugar in your tea?
Miriam: No thanks, I’m sweet enough.

Cheesecake Crumble

Smiles and congratulations, when gossip turned fact
Blush on her face, pride in his eyes
Friends and family gather round
Once in a lifetime

Perfect like a well-baked cheesecake
The icing, was quite a story
Romance flickering like a light bulb
‘On / Off’, became a permanent switch

Time goes by like wind
Joy and glee become the theme
Warm embraces and firm hugs in the mornings
Kisses ashowering and sweet talks in the evenings

There there, boredom ensues
The cheesecake starts to crumble
Unbeknownst, not even to them
The colour of the surface was tainted from the first day

Was it the pressure
Was it the guilt
Was it the familiarity
That disguised love

Slowly they disintegrate, the hearts sway
The perfect union turns into a party
The day comes, voices turn to barks
Reason and pride go out the window

You do everything for me, even if I don’t ask you too
Make up your mind, take your stand
We are not perfect, like you once said
I will leave now, if you permit so

What am I to do, without you
You said you love me, and I believed it so
All that I’ve done, is up in smokes
A try-out, a trial run, was that me in the farm

(to be continued… quite exhausting emotions even before the guilt comes in)

Inspiration after watching Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage (1973), the BEST character study of relationships, especially marriages, that I’ve ever seen. Screw the recent Little Children, this classic has the two leads bouncing off each other with non-stop dialogue, the odd and awkward pauses, the emotions seen through the eyes, and the fiery passion that engulfs their weak souls. Brilliant, that I didn’t feel a nudge wink throughout its 167 mins of Swedish dialogue. In other news, I successfully manoeuvred myself through Accenture Malaysia’s interview here in Manchester. Now awaiting Senior interview to be done most likely when I get back, IF my luck here runs out.

Tribute to OG KC1A

150905 - 080906. 51 weeks. My Manchester Welcome. The nest of warmth. My home away from home.

Pambos, the Cypriot, all bushy and groggy,
as we scare each other in the mornings.
Julian, the Columbian, boisterous and hearty,
as he sings, dances, drinks and party.

A 14-inch idiot box is what links us together,
the Simpsons & F1 plays behind the banter.
3 guys with a clean kitchen,
is rarer than a green chicken.

the orange duvet, the tiny space of a toilet.
dreams and inspirations, is just outside my window.
A year of my life, your time is up,
on the last night, Opal Gardens is dark.

My current nest is the Wilmslow Park floorboards. My friends provide the warmth. Frozen prata and dhaal has never tasted better.

WP, Grapes & Cabbie

A month since last update. Family trip continued into Ireland & London. Settling into Wilmslow Park bunking. Daily trips to library for wireless net access. Daily masses for spiritual rejunevation and future guidance. Joseph's gone back. Am staying in Phing's room now since she's gone Ibiza & Barca-ing. Addicted to the Harman/Kardon speakers.

The trip turned out a whole lot better after my last update. I am not going into details but an overview can be seen in Onei-chan's blog. More pics at my Friendster. Overall, it's just a solid family re-bonding and some much-needed support in the cold discriminating country. Edinburgh was beautiful with the castle on the hill. Dublin was superbly enjoyable. We were blessed with a bright sunny day in scenic Bath. To save 10 quid, we could only view Stonehenge from 100m away. Back in London, I was chief navigator - meaning lotsa sight-seeing until the foot-bottoms ache. Palaces, churches, gardens, shopping, museums, galleries & duck rice. Utter brilliance. And of course Phantom of the Opera!















































































Commentary from top left to bottom right: (I'm so obviously London-biased)
- meaningful graffiti in tense Belfast
- collection of Barry Flanagan rabbit sculptures along Dublin's main road - O'Connell Street. This O'Connell fellow led a very interesting life.
- Bath Abbey from some gardens below. Breathtakingly beautiful.
- some large rectangular rocks lined up in an unassuming position
- Buckingham Palace commemorates the days they used to monopolise our natural resources. They better be sorry or else God save the Queen.
- superb shot of enchanting Westminster Cathedral
- amidst the jutting-out giant shoes, rocking chairs, flies and horseshoes at Camden's Sunday market, we were most taken aback by this store-sign. Murni sigh..
- there were schoolkids EVERYWHERE in the galleries and museums. What wonderful education these kids receive, yet a quarter of them turn out to be chavs and yobs. Pity.
- Big Ben from the London Eye. Or imagine youself as V from that vendetta movie.
- final meal before Heathrow - fish 'n chips, w/ salt 'n vinegar. Wholesome.

Job hunting is taking up ALOT of time. Every damn company has a customised CV AND cover. Despite the VERY long list of companies I hope to apply, I trust in God that my narrowed-down list would do just fine. Will hopefully know by Christmas whether if I'm going to spend my next 3 yrs here in the UK. Since staying in WP, I realise how much M'sian food one can actually eat here - roti canai w/ dhall, tong sui, Milo, Ribena, curry mee!! It's good that me good pals make me, this 'outsider', feel welcomed and thus a happy bunker.
____________________________________________________________________
In movie news, I caught Scorsese's remake of Infernal Affairs (無間道) - The Departed. Highly lauded by critics and fans alike, I'm pretty sure ANYBODY that has seen IA would take a step back before saying anything good about Departed. I thought the first 3 quarters of the movie a powerful one, strong acting and lotsa character development and plot buildup. Suddenly, the final quarter of the movie just falls apart, a rushed, forced, one-shot revelation that only unnecessarily reminds the viewer that it IS, after all, based on IA. Dear ol' Scorsese remains a sort of a fascination for me, since I absolutely hated Goodfellas and Raging Bull, but loved Casino to death. I give a 5/10 for Departed, solely because it could have been a superb story on its own with the IA premise, instead of using the EXACT same scenes and revelations as IA.

To even out the score, I watched Taxi Driver (1976) the day after, and it has now become one of my top 10 best movies of all time. It's about a NY cabbie who can't stand the shit he sees everyday on his job, the city scum, and decides to do something about it. My absolute favourite movie theme - isolation in the city, is fully explored and almost exploited by De Niro's senile and unbelievable acting. The different relationships Travis have with the people he meets represent the insignificance of life that drives him to end it all. I never knew Cybill Shepard was a stunner and a 13-yr old Jodie Foster is a born actress. I had the chance of reading Paul Schrader's screenplay (in the DVD), and I must reserve special praise to Scorsese for his sublime transition to the big screen.

On a totally unrelated sidenote, it has been observed that my computer has no happy songs. And that I don't like happy movies. But I do know I'm a perfectly happy person. Right. Some gems from Travis Bickle:

"You're only as healthy as you feel. "
"Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man. "
"Hey, I'm not square, you're the one that's square...You call that bein' hip? What world are you from?" (to Iris)
"She appeared like an angel. Out of this filthy mess, she is alone. They... cannot... touch... her. " (first sight of Betsy)